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A Partner That Changes Within A Relationship

There are situations where your partner, or the person you are seeing, changes who they want to be and how they express themselves, right in front of your eyes. In such situations there are a series of questions that you need to ask yourself and you need to answer, as to whether your partner’s or the person’s change is good for you, whether this is acceptable to you and is this changed person who you want to be around or be associated with?

The person who is changing is following their own path, they are now displaying or becoming who they really are, or need to be, or want to be, or must be, however is this change what you invested in?, is this changing or changed person who you fell in love with?, is this changing or changed person who you believed you were getting to know?, or are they now still the person you were planning to be with or around?

Were you prepared for such a situation, transition, transformation, change and impact to your life?

Is this person now someone that you can be around?

Everybody changes throughout their lives from childhood to mature adult and there are things that awaken, affect, alters, enlightens, enables and suppresses us and is expressed in all sorts of ways, from optimism and hope, to frustration and despair.

It all really matters, when you consider relationships in terms of investing emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, physically and financially, sometimes involving giving and dedicating many years of your life to a person, in the hope that this person you believe you know or want to know, remains the same person and personality that you still like later on in your life.

A husband and wife relationship is a classic example of this, but it is not exclusive to or the sole domain of married people, any partnership can be affected by this.


The key thing, but hardest thing, is to face the reality of a relationship.

It is not what you think a relationship is, but the reality of what two people actually create and wether that represents a true emotional investment from each person into the relationship.

No matter how much you think you are giving, or have given, or wish to give, or wish to be recognised for, the reality is your efforts, energy, love and more, will only ever make up and represent half of a relationship and will be only half the investment in a relationship, the other half has to come from your partner or other person, regardless of your enthusiasm, optimism, drive, love and commitment.

You have to measure what the reality of the equivalent equity, input, drive, love and commitment is, including wether it is being provided by both people to makeup the 50% of the relationship by each person, in order for both to form 100% of the relationship.

An example of an unequitable and unfair relationship is, if one person is providing 50% and the other only 20%, the person providing 50% is losing out on 30% of what they are giving and the person only giving 20% is getting 30% more than what they are giving, either way this is unfair.

An example of an equitable relationship is, if both are only giving 20% and they are both fully aware of this, they are both in agreement with this and find it acceptable as the reality of their relationship and as long as it is what they both want emotionally, spiritually, physically, psychologically and financially, then this is an equivalent equity relationship, so it is fair. The only way to measure the reality of a relationship is to actually go ‘fact check’ and measure it.


Your reality.

‘Reality’ is a stark word but not necessarily an unpleasant one by itself, it just means you are dealing with what is and not what you hope it would be, or wish it to be, or should be, or what you want to force it to be. Reality just is, it is not a judgement, it is simply the plain facts.

It must be pointed out that reality may not be the truth, you may never get to the truth or get the truth from someone, the best you will ever get sometimes is the facts of your reality and not that of your partner or other people.

You are only in control of the reality, facts and truth of your own input and involvement with your partner or other person (your 50% of the relationship), no matter what you think or feel you are entitled to. Therefore do not even attempt to assess for both you and your partner or any other person, because you can only have the right to think and assess for yourself.

You cannot live two peoples lives, because you will inevitably fail. You can only live the reality of the life that you have and not the life of your partner or someone else.

It’s time to stop trying to do the impossible by living the life of two people in a relationship. It is time to ‘facts check’ your relationship’s equivalent equity and face your truth, which is your personal reality and start doing what is possible in your true reality.


There is nothing that stops your relationship being based on reality.


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